Controlling Your Relationship Brings More Unhappiness

Controlling your relationship with desperate and manipulative attempts to win your partner’s affections never brings the results you are aiming for. Learn the art of having healthy and happy relationship.

Like attracts like

To find happiness in a relationship you need to radiate happiness from within. Any action taken from a stressed and unhappy inner state will not bring the result you’re seeking. In fact, it’ll probably make things worse – like attracts like. 

You dont need to try hard to be the perfect

Often when you are losing on your expectation of how your partner should reciprocate, you tend to start controlling your relationship and try so hard to be the perfect partner to win them over. You become needy, overly possessive and lose your self-esteem. You tend to become conscious about how you look and start to feel yourself lacking somewhere that you are not being loved by your partner. You also try some manipulation by playing hard to get, or try to make your partner feel jealous, in the hope this would change his/her feelings. This kind of trying is doomed because it comes from a place of lack and it’s about controlling and manipulating what’s ‘out there’. 

Change Your Inner State

Action taken from a place of unhappiness simply resonates with, and brings, more unhappiness. Without changing your inner state first, you’ll keep recreating the same old unhappy life – year in, year out. This stress-struggle approach ensures that you live on a permanent treadmill, battling to change your outer circumstances while inside you feel something’s missing – usually a lack of love or money, and very often both at once. 

Your real problem is a lack of awareness of the true nature of reality and the basic laws of the universe. Your fears are stemmed from a faulty set of beliefs- more of your conditioning over the years. Your chronic struggling, worrying and solution-seeking, and back-to-front belief system, which is responsible for all your misery. 

Invest in Self Love

We all have an in-built capacity to feel joy. Just that we never recognized that the self-love has an immense power. Drop the baggage, make a shift to the new paradigm, and see how your problems gets resolved, and your outer circumstances and love life start falling into place. Appreciate your own unique qualities and abilities and have the power to create the life you want. Make your thoughts and feelings your highest priority – above all else. When you stop trying to control your outer conditions, ‘The Quantum Field’, ‘God’, ‘Spirit’ – whatever you choose to call this intelligence – will take care of the outer details and guide you to take appropriate action as required. Of course, you still will encounter challenges. However, simply doing this inner work and self-love most of your issues would resolve quite smoothly. 

Lastly, Choose Your Thoughts Wisely!

Focusing intensely on your problems always anchors them permanently in your life. Make a shift of mind from your problems and find ways for better solution. Discussing your problems endlessly, leads to depleting of energy. Find ways to shift your mind to more positive things in life that keeps you involved, busy. 

Join a hobby class, friends support group, interest-based groups, write a gratitude journal, pick up a course to upgrade yourself, go out with friends, meet family. Doing all this boost yourself worth and you will feel much better and sorted. 

It’s very important to cultivate a peaceful and happy inner state first, as none of these outer actions are likely to help. It’s always a good idea to stop talking or maintain a distance if things don’t work between couples as this helps in diverting their energy into a more constructive thing which can help them bounce back with much greater perspective.

Related: I would recommend that you read the following articles.

• Self-Introspection: Why I Am Not Able to Get What I Want
• Why I Am Attracting The Same Kind Of People That Hurt Me
• A Person’s Behavior is a Reflection of their Internal Struggle!
• 8 Best Relationship Advice
• Why People are Trapped in an Unhappy Relationship

Recommended Books

• Atomic Habits
• The Power of Your Subconscious Mind
• Attitude Is Everything: Change Your Attitude
• The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life