People Dislike Advice-The Underlying Psychology

Understanding the Reasons People Dislike Advice and Why Giving It Feels So Good!

Introduction

Whether you’re trying to help out an acquaintance or provide words of wisdom to a loved one, giving advice can be a tricky endeavor. At best, the person appreciates your insight and gets the guidance they need; at worst, it’s met with eye rolls, criticism, and resentment.

So why is giving advice such a fraught process? Well, it turns out that people dislike receiving advice, regardless of how well-meaning or spot-on it may be. This is especially true when perception misalignment between the giver and receiver leads to a clash of beliefs and values.  But before we dive into why people don’t like receiving advice, let’s take a closer look at what makes giving advice satisfying in the first place. 

{Osho-The Rebel Chapter 5)// The joy of advising others is a very subtle, egoistic joy. The person you are advising becomes ignorant; you become knowledgeable. Advice is the only thing in the world which everybody gives and nobody takes; and it is good that nobody takes it because it is given by people who know nothing-although there is no bad intention behind it.

Why Giving Advice is so Satisfying 

First, we want to help. We see someone struggling with a problem, and we want to offer our help. Second, we think our advice is good. We wouldn’t give it if we didn’t think it would be helpful. And third, we have a bias towards thinking that other people should change their behavior to match ours. If they would just do what we say, everything would be better!

Of course, not everyone wants or needs our help. And even when they do want our help, they may not take our advice. That’s because taking advice is hard! It’s easy to give advice that we ourselves don’t have to follow. We can make all sorts of suggestions about what other people should do differently without having any skin in the game ourselves.

This doesn’t mean that giving advice is always a bad thing. But it’s important to be aware of our motivations for giving advice and to make sure that our advice is actually welcome before dishing it out.

What are the pitfalls of giving advice?

It’s no secret that giving advice can be tricky. Nobody likes being told what to do—sure, you might think you know what’s best for a particular situation, but that doesn’t mean the person receiving your advice wants to hear it.

There are several pitfalls to giving advice that you should be aware of before you offer your assistance. For example, it’s important to avoid painting yourself as the “expert,” because this can make the person feel as if they lack knowledge or experience in the subject matter.

Furthermore, refrain from offering unsolicited advice. Nobody likes having an unwelcome opinion imposed on them. It’s best to wait until someone asks for your opinion before giving it.

Finally, it’s best not to provide too much information, which can leave people feeling overwhelmed and disempowered. Avoid assuming that the listener is unfamiliar with the issue. It’s always wise to keep your feedback tailored to their specific needs.

The psychology behind why people dislike advice

You may have noticed that giving advice can be a bit tricky—some people don’t seem very keen to receive it. So what’s the psychology behind why people don’t like to get advice?

The Illusion of Control

The first thing to understand is that people like to feel in control, even if they’re not. When you give someone advice, it feels like you are taking away their sense of control. The feeling of being “told what to do” can make some people feel frustrated or defensive.

Feeling Unheard

Another reason why advice rubs some people the wrong way is because it can make them feel like their problems are being ignored and invalidated. People want to be listened to, and they want someone to acknowledge that they know what they’re doing—even if they don’t.

Needing Confirmation

Lastly, some people need more than just advice. They need confirmation that their own decisions are okay, and this won’t come from someone ‘telling them what to do’.

Giving advice can often backfire if done wrong, as it can come off as bossy or condescending. However, with the right approach, giving advice can be beneficial—but bear in mind all the complexities behind why someone may not take your advice!

Conclusion

In the end, being a good advisor is not just about giving advice. It’s about listening, understanding, and showing compassion. Advice should be seen as a way of helping people reflect on their own feelings and gain perspective, not as a way to tell them what they should do.

Remember, everyone has their own unique journey—and it’s not your job to direct them; it’s your job to guide them. By offering advice from a place of understanding and validation, you can help people better navigate their own adventures and feel empowered to make their own decisions.

You may like to read: A Person’s Behavior is a Reflection of their Internal Struggle!