The 16 mindset shifts that finally liberated me in my 40s…
I’m a few years into my 40s now, and I haven’t yet crossed into the land of chronic knee pain and osteoporosis shoes. My bone strength is fine and I am supplementing my calcium and vitamin D deficiencies for those menopausal changes which soon would be hitting on me.
In fact, my 40s have been some of the best years of my life. Not only do I have four decades of wisdom to guide me, even the new wave of different experiences have added more spice to this 40s. There is a new sense of passion to live life to its fullest, learning new things, accepting body image, children’s teenage tantrums, being alone and still the joy of spending a good time with oneself.
Here are the 16 Mindset Shifts that changed my life completely!
The 16 Mindset Shifts
- It’s much easier to make yourself a priority.
One of the best parts about 40s is that your kids are old enough and now they need their friends more than they need you. As couples you have struggled enough to be comfortable now in each other’s shoes without any defense mechanism for survival. Now you finally have the freedom to focus on yourself, and to live your passions as a reality.
2. Be your best for your physical and mental health, even if it upsets others.
Now is the time you invest in yourself and make some mindful changes to improve your health and well-being. After ages I got the time to follow what makes me happy and gives me my peace of mind. Now other people’s opinion doesn’t matter anymore. Isn’t that a liberation in itself?
3. I Choose My Tribe To Socialize
I choose not to attend every event to which I am invited or I have to obligate as a spouse. I choose to value my time and energy. Only people who resonate with me and with whom I feel there is a synergy of energies are the one’s who belong to my tribe. Limited life circle is better than to have extended associations with NO good vibes.
4. Lunch with girlfriends just don’t skip.
We might still be pulled between kids, work, school, doctor’s appointments, hair appointments, catching up with housework, and other family commitments, but my time with my girls is a priority.
5. No More Filters Please
I no more live life to impress others. I prefer to be comfortable in my own skin and wear my smile and confidence to kill the world around. I live the moment and prefer to live every moment mindfully, joyfully and with utmost involvement with the life.
6. Not every mistake requires a consequence.
As a mom, I have learned that not every mistake my child makes requires to dole out a consequence. This is especially true when it comes to your teenager. I totally understand they are at an age where they need to do their mistakes and learn their lessons. I stand solid, all grounded until I need my wings to take a shape and my soul to take a flight to hold my child when they are to fall. I am there to embrace and to guide the direction so that she can stand up again and fly high like an aspiring bird.
7. You don’t have to finish a book you don’t like.
I like picking books as per my mood and I start reading it without ever finishing it. I used to feel I am terrible at completing books.
But now I feel it’s absolutely ok to choose a book as per your mood and let it rest when you don’t feel like reading anymore. Life should be about choices and living as per your mood and not by rules.
Now I enjoy reading more because I effortlessly switch from one to the other enjoying reading in that moment. Plus we are in the era of being spoiled for so many choices. So I love reading my kindles and then switching to my favorite series on Netflix and then to an upGrad to upskill to reels on Instagram. Life rocks when there is a flow and movement in life.
8. Getting ready for bed is a mindful routine
In my 20s and 30s sleep was never a priority. But now sleep is an important and integral part of my selfcare routine. Sleeping on time and following my meditation routine is a must for a good sleep and happy morning vibes. My good 8 hours sleep keeps me in good mood, I think more clearly, and my day with my family goes in harmony.
9. Some people won’t like me, and I’m OK with that.
That desire to be liked by everyone has faded naturally. I am absolutely ok if you don’t like me, our personalities or values are fundamentally different. And that’s ok. I value mine and you take care of yours. No need to fit in. We are better off not wasting time pretending to like each other.
10. I will wear what I like and as many times I like it.
I don’t mind this extra curvy body. I will wear what I like and as per my mood. I am not here to impress others but to myself. I am never going to be younger than what I am today. I will wear what makes me feel good today. Already much time has been wasted thinking what will look good and what I should not wear. Wearing clothes is my personal choice. Also I don’t mind repeating my dresses because that shows how much I liked them at first place.
11. Don’t keep something just because you spent a lot of money on it.
I love to clear the clutter and make space for myself. I don’t mind giving away things that have been hanging in my closet or stored in my drawers which I never used or will never use again. I’ve learned my lesson that if something doesn’t serve me anymore, I should just let it go, no matter how much money I spent on it. Maybe that would create meaning to someone else life.
12. There’s no place like home.
Going out from time to time is still fun, but now I truly enjoy being in the comfort of my home to live cozy moments with my family. Spending time in slomo, doing things like relaxing in front of the TV, drinking wine with a book, doing gardening, just lazing in balcony with some nice music, or even cleaning my house around is much more satisfying than getting dressed up for a fancy party or splurging on an expensive meal.
13. Ask for help from people who are your close circle.
I don’t crib and sulk in isolation. I prefer to grab a phone and call. It’s always good to talk and ask for advice from those who matter to you. At the end maybe you do what you think is right for you. But at least reaching out and talking your heart makes you feel light and gives you a right perspective.
14. You can disagree with someone and still love them.
Every relationship has faced different levels of disagreements. No two individuals can share same mind-space and logics to handle different aspects. It’s totally okay not to be on the same page for your disagreements. But what really makes a difference is to respect each others thoughts and leave space to breathe.
15. You’re too old to fall into the trap of emotional manipulation.
How many times as an adult have you done something you didn’t want to do strictly because you were made to feel guilty? If you grew up in an emotionally manipulative family, it is an incredibly difficult habit to break. I used my 40s to make that mindset shift to free myself of the unnecessary guilt.
16. You shouldn’t deliberately withhold an apology.
There is magic in saying the words “I’m sorry.” Not only does it validate the feelings of someone you’ve hurt, it takes a huge weight off of your chest.
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Yes this is brilliant!!! Each thought is so so powerful and well expressed!!! Loved every bit of it! 🌟🌟
Beautifully expressed