Detachment An Art To Be Self Reliant | Self Awareness

Relationships Starts With A Beautiful Connect

We start with a beautiful connection, and that deep attraction makes us fall in love with the person. Slowly that sweet feelings mould into fights and disagreements. Love is very hollow, the more you dive deeper, more you feel lost and empty inside.

In love we care and depend on the other and don’t realise when we tend to become possessive and get overly attached that we want them to fulfill our void and emptiness. We make them so much as our sole need that we lose our perspective.

Then Lose Its Essence

The same love starts to self destruct us and this codependent attachment causes us pain and problems in relationships.

It’s healthy to get attached to people we love and care about, but overly attachments are not because we love so much but because somewhere there is a deep void and maybe our need is so much to fill that emptiness within.

When we are empty we need that someone to be and act a certain way so that we can feel okay. But this codependent pattern makes us sometimes lose the right perspective and makes us so vulnerable that we start to control, react and worry, and sometimes become obsessed.

We Need to Detach and Let Go

We need to understand when we are becoming over-involved. The antidote is to detach and let go.

Detachment implies neutrality. Detaching is a way of separating the unhealthy emotional glue that keeps us fused in a codependent relationship.

It doesn’t mean physical withdrawal or an emotional withdrawal, such as being aloof, disinterested, emotionally shut down, or ignoring someone.

Detaching doesn’t mean neglecting relationships or responsibilities or leaving someone. It’s just about setting boundaries and centering ourselves. Sometimes physical space or separation may be useful to get back to the right perspective.

For example, it’s good to not have contact with someone, if the relationship is too painful.

Life is complicated and so are the relationships. People don’t tend to react the way they do at times. Sometimes it’s very difficult for even to communicate your feelings when the other side is totally closed or takes you as the enemy.

There would be mistakes, as you are human. But if you are mindful then you surely can learn the art of detachment. 

Detachment Is An Art of Self Awareness

Detaching is all about refocusing your energies and taking charge of ourselves. It involves mindful letting go of our expectations and entanglements with other people.

We consciously learn to stop reacting to things they say and do and stop being obsessed and worrying about things. We can’t control the external factors, but we surely can take control of our feelings and thoughts and mind our own business. 

In situations, when we are emotionally back throned we need to channelise ourselves, take care of our feelings and concerns, show some self love to nurture ourselves to a better response. 

In practice, it’s more of self love, mindfulness, compassion and loving without too overindulgence and dependence.

Be Mindful and Build Meaningful Relationships

To have meaningful relationships, have appropriate boundaries, accept reality, be in the present, not the past or future, take responsibility for your feelings and needs. Let go of things with love if that doesn’t work.

Gradually, rather than be invested in changing or controlling others, we can be compassionate and encourage them. We have no need to argue or persuade others for our viewpoints. We always can stand for our viewpoints with different perspectives without any validation from others. 

I think love is all about respecting and honoring boundaries and separateness. Rather than manipulate people to our needs, we should learn to live with feelings of self sufficiency and just be authentic of who we are without losing the natural essence of our being.

Detachment makes us strong and self reliant. Mindfulness helps us to re-align and refocus ourselves whenever we go wrong. When we make ourselves stronger, then we are in better positions to make our relationships successful and meaningful.

Don’t become myopic by getting over-involved. Others become extensions of us. There is no need to control anyone’s opinions, feelings, and actions to get what we need and feel okay. 

No need to persuade them to agree with us or do what we want. Noone acts as per our needs. Everyone on this earth thinks of themselves first over others so don’t leave scope for reactions of hurt or anger when they won’t respond as per your expectation.