A relationship between people who have met online are similar in many ways to pen pal relationships. This relationship can be romantic, platonic, or even based on pure friendship.
It’s normal to fall in love with someone you meet online. There is only one way for an online relationship to become a real relationship, and that’s when the two people meet, mutually like each other, and continue meeting – even if airports are required to keep the relationship going.
Well, according to the book Affairs Of The Net, not only is it possible – it happens all the time! In fact, many studies show that people do form “deeper connections” when they meet online, even if they never meet face to face. For example: One study found that people who met online tend to communicate more openly and honestly, compared to people who met face-to-face.
Why would that happen?
Researchers say it boils down to the fact that when we take away the stress of being face-to-face and can really think about our interactions, then it’s easier to get deeper with each other. That’s why a growing number of couples now report moving more quickly from a casual online chat, to something much more emotional and falling in love online – even before they meet in person!
Generally the longer you wait to meet in real life, the more likely you are to start idealizing the person. And you end up forming an impression about them that’s based more on fantasy than reality. So, by the time you finally do meet, you’re more likely to feel let down because no one can live up to the fantasy in your head. In other words: It’s normal to fall in love with someone you meet online. But never think you’re in a “real” relationship until you’re actually face-to-face with that person, spending time with them.
Now there is a school of thought- Is there a possibility for online romance to be in love and still not be sexually attracted to them?
There are obviously two schools of thought as to whether you can love someone and not be sexually attracted to them. Some will say that yes, it is absolutely possible to love someone in a romantic way, without being sexually attracted to them. However, to some that sounds like a total impossibility and those will be the opinions of those that need that much needed spark or physical chemistry with.
You need to get your clarity as to what you are heading for and what you are expecting out of the connection that you have established online.
We all have different emotional needs which gets us into forming the connections. For those that have fallen for someone without sexual attraction, their love for their partner will come from a much more cerebral connection and companionship.
Here the two people just need an intellectual attraction. They want to be challenged and excited by the person they are with, they do not need a physical attraction at all. It could be that they do not see sex as a large part of a relationship nor do they see desire or passion as a necessity in anyway. Instead, their emphasis is on a meeting of minds and the tactile side of a relationship can fall by the wayside.
To those that need passion and chemistry in a relationship and require that elusive spark, they simply won’t be able to comprehend this side of the argument. To them, a relationship is not a serious or loving one without sexual attraction and the need to physically be with someone that you love. They are both part and parcel of a partnership and without that attraction, it is not possible to be in love with a person.
And for those who are struggling between the two approaches, are the confused ones, who just got entangled without actually realizing what they really were heading for. These people are surely the ones who have their set of commitments with their married partners but something got them connected based on the hidden need deep inside.
If you are in love with someone, the chemistry between you will mark the romantic relationship.
It’s an interesting viewpoint for those that do not think that physical attraction is needed to be in love with a person. The idea or notion of sex to them is that it is not necessary, yet how do they ensure that they and their partner, know where they stand. Do both people know that they are in a committed relationship, even though on the surface it is just like any other platonic friendship.
Your involvement, your chemistry and the need of both should define how this relationship can connect you through the times. If the connection is deep and meaningful you will surely work it through which makes a lot of sense at the end.
Studies have shown that attraction can build over time, both physically and emotionally. The feelings will grow and develop stronger if you focus on your thoughts and what you really want out of the feelings you feel for each other.
Attraction is actually much more flexible than we tend to believe it to be. While it may be true that we will always feel an initial spark and strong pull towards certain people, it is possible to develop attraction over time.
Realistic View
If you wish to build a beautiful relationship, then the first step towards making it better is to have a more realistic view of what this bond means to you. Good relationships take hard work. Intense passion will ebb and flow. Stay open to all of the different possibilities that life presents to you.
Uncertainty Should Not Just Be The Factor
Naturally, if we only think about the negative things, we don’t leave a lot of room for cultivating attraction. While it’s important to be aware of the things you’re uncertain about, try not to spend an excessive amount of time focusing on them.
Do focus on the vibes that got you attracted.
Nothing just happens without a desire. Why you got attracted, is the reason for you to ponder. Your attractions have deep significance to your deep held desires. Like many things that appeal to you right, surely connecting through those vibes is also a reality that you are standing together as connected. Taking this to the next level will surely be your inner desire to how much you are invested in this connection.
Hold off on sex.
If you’re not sure of the chemistry in the beginning, hold off on sex texts. Not jumping into this right away will allow your attraction to grow and your sexual connection to intensify.
Accept when it’s just not right.
Although it’s important to give the relationship a fair chance, if after a few months of dating if you haven’t been able to generate an attraction that keeps you pulled together, it might be time to accept that even though this person might be wonderful, they are just not right for you.
It’s important to take care of your own heart and well being, but you also want to be sure that you aren’t hurting the other person. If you suspect after trying all that above that you might never feel sexual chemistry with your partner, it’s probably time to part ways.
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